I had said no more kids after the first one because of how hard everything was. Here I am though, one boy and two girls later.
My world is crazy different now with three kids. I had my baby girl, Camila, in October of 2016. It was just my son Diego and daughter Sophia for 6 years. They say that 2 kids feels like 20 , but honestly it wasn’t until I had Camila that my life changed.
Having three kids meant that I could no longer work and that the father of my kids would have to work two jobs to balance us financially. It’s not at all fun because I felt like a single mom when he worked his seasonal second job. It also meant that I had to give all my time to my kids. Not that it should be otherwise , but when I mean all my time I really mean 24/7. No more going to work , no more hanging out with friends and no more running an errand or two alone. Since October I have not been away from my kids for more than 3-4 hours. Not 3-4 hours a day but 3-4 hours a month ! If I’m lucky. Sometimes I only get 1-2 hours a month.
I love my kids. I would give my life for them, but this mama is tired ! I do sometimes think how is it that I’m a mom of three? I love to sleep , I love time alone , I love to go on adventures and I just simply love having some freedom. That all went out the window! (For now at least. I hope.)
Anyway, not only do I think about myself, but sometimes I wonder if I’m even doing a good job as a mom. Do I give each of them enough of my time? Can I manage to raise all three of them right , to be good people? I’m sure I’m not the only mom out there to question herself or doubt herself. Having kids is hard. Trying to be a good mom is even harder and oh so exhausting.
Reality is that I am grateful for them and I am doing my very best.
I love my babies. I have been blessed. Three different little personalities with kind hearts to call mine.