Today I woke up feeling like I didn’t get a second of rest. All of my body down to the tips of my fingers hurt. I sleep so close to the edge of the bed so that my baby gets more room on the bed.
Camila still does not sleep through the night and won’t go back to sleep unless I nurse her. I co-sleep, it’s Camila and I on a queen size bed. I chose to co-sleep to make breastfeeding easier. I’m not allowed to toss and turn on the bed. Not allowed to spread myself. So my body feels so tense. Back in April I went to the ER because of major back pain. I couldn’t even move from how bad the pain felt. It turns out my spine is pinching my nerves. I haven’t gone to see a doctor, but I know I have to go sooner then later. I decided to sacrifice and deal with the pain so that I can continue breastfeeding. I wasn’t ready at that time to stop.
Breastfeeding , breastfeeding , breastfeeding. There is so much pressure out there to breastfeed. Even more pressure to exclusively breastfeed. Also, I have felt competition on breastfeeding. Why? I don’t know.
I breastfed Diego and Sophia both for 4 weeks. However , with Camila it has been 8 months and 1 week. I never thought I could make it this far since breastfeeding is so difficult at the beginning. Turns out it’s just as difficult to end it.
In the beginning it’s the latching on that makes it difficult . Also it’s painful and also it’s like 24/7 nursing. On top of that you are extremely sleep deprived. When the baby is born everyone wants to come out and visit mom and meet the new baby. Everyone also wants to help in anyway, but why do I feel like I need more help now then before. Now that I want to stop breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding comes with so many benefits for mom and baby. Reading all about them encouraged me to keep on going. It was (still is) amazing for me to see my baby grow from the milk I provide for her. It’s such a great feeling to be able to birth a baby and be able to provide the nutrition the baby needs. I chose to breastfeed for as long as I could because I wanted the experience. I gave up so fast on my other two babies and didn’t want to give up on my third and last baby. I now feel like I can truly call myself a breastfeeding mom and understand all the hardships, rewards and the experience of it all.
Camila will be 9 months in a few weeks and I want to wean her off. It is becoming painful with her teeth coming in, and I’m ready to be able to sleep better , I’m ready to go see the doctor for my back problem and ready for some freedom. I think we have both done an excellent job with this experience.
I am reading tips and tricks online on how to make the weaning not painful for either of us. I wish I did have a helping hand, but I know if I’m determined enough I can do it on my own.
Please wish me luck !
I would also like to say weather a baby is breast fed or bottle fed , as long as the baby is being fed and loved , stop giving moms such a hard time. To those moms who choose to breastfeed and need help , ask for it and don’t give up if it’s something you really want to do. To those moms who choose to bottle feed you are also great moms. There are many reasons why moms choose to bottle feed and whatever the reason may be her decision should be respected.
Wish I could go into more detail on this blog , but my baby is fussy today so this is all I could write for now. She is up from her nap ! Bye for now.